Princess Fix IT

Coming Soon?

Paul has redeemed himself and passed along what will, with a few minor and I stress minor adjustments, inevitably be my resignation letter.

Thanks, man.

@#!%*&

I?m blaming The White Guy for this one?sorry Paul, but it must be done. After he teased me with tales of high mountain adventures, I just had to see it for myself. So we make a nice little trip up to EB Games during lunch today (I didn?t get shotgun even once?fuck!) and I do the unthinkable and drop hard earned Princess Bucks on a new release game title. SSX3. I couldn?t have been more excited to play a game after a CodeWarrior crashing, virus infesting, frustratingly mismanaged day at work. I arrive home, popped that bad boy in my trusty XBOX and BAM, no go Little Miss Princess Fix IT. The error on the TV seemed to be the size of the great state of Texas. ?The disc can?t be read and your evening of snow boarding fun is doomed! Doomed I tell you!? OK so it didn?t state that exactly, but it might as well have. I do a bit of researching online and find a convenient toll free phone number for XBOX support. After one ring and only one menu selection, I?m talking to my friendly Microsoft Tech, Ian. Ian and I go through several pleasantries, personal information exchanges and general idiot proof technical questions. Yes, this is actually happening for all discs; CD, DVD and all my games (no, I did not actually test all my games, but after the fifth one, I realized I was onto something). Yes, Ian, they are XBOX games (really, some people try Playstation game discs?) And so on. Sure, Princess we?ll get that fixed for you at a flat fee of $99. I believe my as always eloquent response was, ?Holy shit!? Poor Ian. After discussing the issue further, we decided it best I go out and buy a lens cleaner and give that a shot first before laying down more Princess Bucks. Before Ian and I parted ways, he reminded me of my repair options and if I opt for sending it in for repair, to make sure I have a credit card the next time I call?.and I quote, ?one with money on it.? After laughing for quite some time, Ian and I said good evening to one another.

Damnit! Well, at least the basketball season started today.

Oh and it appears the sun keeps farting in our general direction.

Mikey Monday!

Mikey Monday is coming soon!

Good times.

La la la la laaaaaaaa

I'm so incredibly bored at the moment. Kevin's out, The World Series game is fairly settled for the evening and there is nothing else worth watching on TV....whoa whoa whoa, what do we have here? They just showed full on unleashed puppies on ER! Since when can network TV expose The Fun Bags? What's up with that? I certainly don't disagree with nudity that is readily available but seriously, when did this happen? Now don't get too worked up there dear reader, they showed the geriatric jiggles, not supermodel spectaculars or anything near that caliber. Is it because it's an old woman, a "medical" drama or what?

The Fort

At work, we IT folk are contained within four walls with two badge access doors on each side. Well, they aren?t really walls but more of a suggestion of walls as their growth was somewhat stumped three feet from the ceiling and the badge access doors aren?t really doors either. They are more akin to stable doors as they are split in the middle horizontally so you may open the top without leaving the bottom half vulnerable. There is a wireless doorbell that takes approximately 5 seconds to ring once pushed and signs stating ?Authorized Personnel Only? affixed to each entryway. The walls react as if they are huge chunks of The Grand Canyon and amplify any sound from its contents 10 fold.

I call it The Fort.

The Fort took some getting used to as there were many comments, the occasional paper airplane that sailed over the near-ceiling walls and a variety of Ding Dong Ditch jokers. That?s cool. I would have behaved in the same manner, so who am I to rob these gentlemen the golden opportunities that are so plainly laid before them? It?s nice to not have the annoying users pop their heads over the cubicle walls into my domain, but then again I miss having access to my more enjoyable co-workers. How can you resist a near 7 foot tall sweetheart of a man draping himself across the confines of your workspace, looking down and saying, ?Hi there?? The amplified walls of the new fort are a complete pain?for our neighbors. The noise can get a bit obtrusive. Just a bit. It?s pretty tough to say ?Hey, we know you sold 3 million units on your last build and we probably owe our paychecks to you, but this is who we are, man!? Yeah, I don?t think that will fly. We all know that I, in particular, am not especially talented at reigning myself in and I believe some of my fellow IT folk are in the same predicament. Its tough when you hold a similar opinion that The Fort is a bit of a joke, to maintain a sense of pride at the same time.

So all this Fort related rambling, this leads me to the following?I want a suggestion box placed outside the Princess entrapping walls of my work existence. It seems when I speak to the users, they have great ideas, many good and valid points, but it seems no one actually says anything to the people in power. Is it just lip service? Is it simply co-worker camaraderie? Is it just something new to complain about? I?m of the belief that nothing will change until you take the proper measures to make that change occur. I suppose who's to say the users would take a suggestion box seriously and fill it with proper ideas and not things like, "I think the Princess should show us more of her tits" and "How much porn am I allowed to download on a daily basis?" We do have something similar to the suggestion box that is deemed the ?Quarterly Customer Care Survey.? I hate that title. These users are not my customers. They are my users. They don?t call an 800 number, pay me for my opinion or actually purchase anything. Let?s not forget this is only done on a quarterly basis, so what good is that? I?m confused. If these are our users, our whole reason for being there, why don?t their opinions count more? Why don?t they feel the need to put forth those opinions when it actually counts? Are the two directly related? I suppose that?s not for me to say, as I have no power nor influence in such matters, but it seems to me that we could be so much more to them than we are now.

Blog Ditty Blog Blog

I stumbled across this in the latest Dodge Owner?s Magazine. Oh-my-precious! I wonder if it comes in a quad-cab. I think that truck paired with the Jesse James rims I so desperately desire would equal unequivocal bad ass class. Smooth.

A few things on the job front?I?ve decided to extend my stay in Video Game Land and not pick up shop elsewhere. I figure with The Network Super Cop Guy, Huggie and The Farm Boy around, I can get quite the education. I?ll run into people like The P no matter where I wander, so I might as well shut the fuck up and keep on keepin? on. I?ve had a few extra duties as of late that I find rather challenging and that certainly helps keep the peace. Ah, who the hell am I kidding? This is just the calm before the next storm, right? Well, either way, I?ll deal with it the best I can.

Still undefeated in the "Humiliate the Programmer Boys" Fantasy Football season. 7-0. This weekend's matchup looks promising for win number 8. I can't be stopped!

Quick Tip: Check the ?TO? box before you click ?SEND? to offer the entertainment of something even remotely offensive to your fellow co-workers. Chances are, multiple people have the same last name where you work and don?t forget that Outlook loves to auto-complete. There is no need for some unsuspecting person to be not so kindly reminded what type of 'funny boys' they are surrounded with on a daily basis. So try not to spread the joy that is the bestiality porn you find so fabulous. Understood?

It's A Brand New Day

Baseball season is coming to a close. We're winding down to a Fall sleep that is filled with dreams of Next Year sentiments, Rookie hopefuls and the inevitable off-season blitz that is free agency. I was cool when My Boys lost the Division. I've recovered from the "Circle of Despair" that comes with being a Cubbie fan. Now I'm ready to move on. That's right dear reader, basketball season is coming. My favorite of all seasons. Bring on the overflowing talent that?s bursting in the West, the battle of the big men with Shaq vs. Yao and the ultimate demise of the East. I called the digital cable company today and signed up for NBA League Pass. That?s access to 40 NBA games a week! Aw man, this is money well spent, people! I?ve missed watching the Rockets and now I won?t have to with this tasty new addition to my TV schedule. When I made that phone call, it seemed to melt away the 2003 baseball season. Can ya dig it?

Now I Just Feel Pity

Last night I was angry and confused. Now, at this moment, my heart aches with absolute pity for "The Little Fan That Could". I most certainly feel for the guy given the fact that The Smoking Gun, along with the Chicago Sun Times, has published not only this man's name, but where he works and other personal information.

Godspeed, Mr. Steve Bartman, Godspeed indeed.

Chicago's Most Wanted

If you see this man, please consider whuppin' him upside his dumbass head.

Will Work For 35MB Download

This week was fairly uneventful at work. A few minor snags, but mostly quiet. Vince set me on about the mission of installing Compuware's BoundsChecker latest release, 7.1 so he could have the fancy pants .NET 2003 integration. Software upgrades are a breeze, with the exception of a few CodeWarrior snags along the road, so no problem right? Well after the third time I was placed on hold after asking, "Where can I download this upgrade," I was starting to get a bit miffed. You heard me...miffed. Apparently that was too difficult a question for the tech on the other end of the line. After conference calling in yet another tech, I was given a satisfactory answer. They would email me the ftp information. Sweet. After the fifth failed attempt to login successfully, I emailed their support and requested they check into the issue. An hour later, we have a successful download. During this whole process, vince and I are going back and forth about the fact that Compuware is advertising version 7.1 but all signs from them are pointing to 7.01 and 7.02. Hmmm. All the license files they are sending my way are 7.01 and 7.02 dat files, but the webpage plainly states 7.1. After inquiring about the difference, I was sent yet another set of ftp instructions for version 7.02. Are they fucking with me or are they truly this incompetent? Needless to say, the installation of 7.02 does not have .NET 2003 integration and vince is giving me the "I told you so" look. It fits him entirely too well. He emails their support, gets an almost instantaneous answer and forwards the email stating, "We sent the Princess this upgrade weeks ago!" Weeks ago? I ask a co-worker and sure enough, it had arrived today. Not weeks ago, but today. Fine. At least we have the necessary software and can move on. Not so fast, Fairy Princess of The Damned. That's right folks, we have no valid license file for version 7.1! I emailed support, again, but received no answer by the end of the business day. 50 bucks they don?t bother answering me until I send a follow up.

I'm inclined to blame vince for this whole ordeal. Pesky users and their precious needs. Hey, he said it himself?it?s all about Him Him Him!

And They Tell Two Friends...And So On...And So On

I stumbled across two blogs recently by way of Chicago Bloggers that I have found very entertaining. One is Platenatry Delights. There is some really talented writing here, so check it out. The other is Blood and Thunder. I have no clue who this guy is, other than he goes by the name of Al, but damn if he hasn't managed to put quite a few smiles on the Princess's face this past week.

Go ahead...click em...you know you wanna.

Lastly, this link courtesy of The White Guy...is it completely juvenile of me to continue getting giggle fits each time I send this to people?

More after the Games...

There's no crying in baseball!

Well...maybe there is...thank you Fox.

Is it not bad enough that we are subjected to the absolute torture that is FOX MLB commentary, but now we have to deal with their oh so very wise words in the ways of Baseball Etiquette? Case in point is tonight's Red Sox vs. A's Game 5 match up. Manny Ramirez pounds a ball that will surely go down in Red Sox history, watches it fly out of the park, proceeds to point to his teammates on the bench and jogs around the bases. So? So we viewers are now treated to a lengthy talking-to by Steve Lyons and Thom Brennaman about why that was so wrong and how Manny is certainly destined for the Gates of Hell. Come on! What is so wrong with celebrating a fabulous pitch inside, a homerun or a deadly double play? Apparently professional athletes have grown so accustomed to their gigantic egos, they can't take a little competitive celebration. This is getting far from ridiculous. After Barry Bonds puffed up at Carlos Zambrano for celebrating striking him out, I have been noticing this more and more. It's not like Zambrano was ecstatic about striking out a mediocre player. It was BarryfuckingBonds; one of the best hitters to ever live! I'm not talking about excessive celebration or taunting here dear reader, but joy and excitement in its most simple form. Pride in contributing. Pride in doing the job you are so incredibly fortunate to have. Pride in yourself. So I toast my glass to all the Zambranos and Ramirezes of the world. Have fun. Celebrate. Enjoy the glory that you are due.

So let's take this moment to say the following:
I am 5-0 in my fantasy football league. I'm kicking all kinds of programmer ass! Muhahahahaha!

Tech Ramblings

CodeWarrior never ceases to amaze me. It's a constant battle. Latest case in point: User needs both version 3.04 and 3.6 for PS2 installed. Well, that in itself is a pain, but not impossible. I get both versions working in perfect binary harmony, but the Analysis Tools keeps popping up an error when the program is launched. Not a new issue, I've seen it before. Fairly easy to deal with, blah blah blah. But noooooo! My usual tricks fail me. Anyhow, new tricks aside, both CW versions and the Analysis Tools are currently working and all is well with the world. I think Metrowerks? slogan should be: ?Keeping your IT Department in Business Day After Day?After Day, After Day?? BTW the 'Repair' option on CW should be outlawed. It's such a joke! I've used it maybe twice (I learned that lesson fast) but I've had to clean up after it on multiple occasions. I've seen everything from bits and pieces of the program being removed altogether to all files relocating to the Windows System folder. This has to be some sort of sick programming joke.

As my Inbox filled up with a variety of NTBugTraq and SecurityBasics emails yesterday, I should have known the issue Kevin was experiencing was the most recent hijack-trojan, QHost-1, Instead, I gave him a fast solution that did work, but only temporarily (Hey I was at work when he called, I was busy, get off my case!). When he walked in this evening to inform me of the same browser connectivity problem, I was a bit more disciplined in my diagnosis. Man, I really am sick of hijacks, spyware and the like. I firmly believe there should be more attention paid to such annoyances (i.e. prison time, removal of fingers, flogging, etc.). They rarely do much harm, but I certainly would have preferred doing something else than editing his HOSTS files (no that isn't a euphemism).

My final ramble concerns SUS. I only have a handful of volunteer users for our PD Test SUS project and I?m concerned I will be unable to get more. Even with the promise of full system backups, it?s been a tough sell with deadlines, submissions, etc. These guys don?t have time to be my guinea pigs, but I do desperately need them to be. Maybe the few I have currently will suffice, as it is a great sample group of one artist and one programmer from select teams. Let?s hope?sigh.

Hmmm...

This link has been sent to me a couple times and by various people today, including the head of HR.