For all I preach about the social retardation of some of my co-workers, today I have to admit to my own lack of tact. Not surprised are you? Well I was. It's tough to eventually find fault with yourself in something you have had so much pride in before. I like to think I can communicate with anyone. I?m often known for my lack of timing when it comes to jokes and smartass comments which, naturally, result in some fairly moronic moments for me, but I don't mind that so much. It's when I literally see the words, flowing freely into the air like some sort of nightmarish cartoon bubble forming over my head. Then I know I'm headed for trouble. Shortly thereafter, if not immediately, I wonder, ?What the hell did I say that for??
I've dodged so many Mac truck sized bullets in my years; it used to come fairly natural for me to dig myself out of the enormous hole that was my life. That hadn't happened for so long?until yesterday. Today I?m out of the hole and better for it. I never really enjoyed ?learning life?s lessons? when they were actually happening. Who does, right? I found out today that I still don?t, but I do learn them a lot quicker! Someone asked me earlier how I managed to get out of this insanely complicated bind. I could have said it was a reaction engrained from such an early age that just comes easy. I could have said it runs through my veins like a nasty virus. I could have said it?s a skill. But none of that satisfies me as a solid, or true, answer. Not this bullet, not this 1,523,974th ?second? chance, not this time. This time I just got lucky.
Not really, but damn, I really do love chocolate milk!
I'm kicking back with my trusty laptop and enjoying a tall glass of chocolate milk. I?m cozy with one of my favorite blankets with the sounds of Steve Goodman flowing from Kevin's office and mulling over the last week in my mind. Not the best of weeks, but far from the worst. Fall is definitely approaching us fast and it's spectacular. Like steve, I really dig the crisp feel of Fall. Back in Houston, we have two seasons; Summer and Fall. One of the things I have really enjoyed about Chicago is witnessing the change of all four seasons. It's quite rejuvenating. I could deal with a big fat piece of rejuvenation, couldn't you?
As we settle in this afternoon to watch the Cubs-Pirates and the Astros-Brewers matchups, we are treated to a tasty dose of not one, but TWO Cubs games. No, dear reader, I am not referring to the fact that the Cubbies have a doubleheader today, but the fact that the game is being broadcast on two stations, simultaneously! Well, that's just lovely. It's no big deal that the scheduled Astros game on Fox is replaced by the Fox Sports Net double broadcast. Oh no, I find it absolutely essential that I be able to switch between channel 12 and channel 28 to see the SAME game! Never mind that when you check the handy dandy digital cable TV Guide for channel 12 it states, "Astros-Brewers", but what do you see? That's right folks, you see the Cubs game! Again. Aw come on, man! I call bullshit! I call bullshit on you Fox!
*Apologies to all the neighbors of ours that had to endure the constant stream of various expletives spewing from my lady-like mouth upon this unjust discovery.
Ah yes, it's that time again...the ever popular Executive Product Reviews. Ugh.
Normally, I don't mind this particular business practice, but as of late, it's been fairly stressful. Hmmm...stressful. That's not really the right word, it's more of an annoyance for me personally, but certainly stressful for the game teams. They sit there and a variety of Pretty Boy Marketers, Ego Inflated Executives and random know it alls, pick apart and critique their every line of code, their every polygon. That has to be tough for them. They work so hard, put in amazingly long hours and pour their hearts into these games and strangers either rip it or cheer it. I'm sure the Leads are strong enough to handle it, but I have a feeling some of these guys take it personally. Let's face it, it is good business. It's always a good idea to get a second opinion; hopefully it's the right second opinion. Right people on the bus and all that good shit...
All the same, I don't mind the unfamiliar faces wandering the halls, the constant requests for network access, cables or other miscellaneous hardware (since it is my job ) and I certainly don't mind the free lunch, but what strikes me the most is the way some of these individuals treat other people. I'm not stupid, I realize many of these people hold important positions and are certainly not afraid to inform you of such details, but why be rude when you don't need to be? I'm realize my role is to provide quality service, so I'm also familiar with the "Treat me like I don't exist" syndrome. Hell, I think I do a pretty good job of biting my tongue each and every day (most of the time, anyway), but there is no need to treat other people like an inferior or worse yet, a complete moron. It's not just the way they treat we IT folk. I see how they treat the receptionists, the executive assistants and even each other. It just doesn't sit quite right with me. It's a lot of weight being thrown around for no particular reason. It's not quite a "My dick is bigger than your dick," but it's similar. Maybe because I'm not part of it, I don't see the point of such behavior. Maybe that's just the way things get done. Far be it from me to question the intentions of others, that's not really my place. But I will. Hey, I'm only human, right? :)
I can happily say I won't have to witness much more of this, as the majority of these Painfully Powerful Pricks will be gone within the week. We like to bus in our PPPs. There are very few of these PPP types around our location these days and the ones that are still there, I just simply try to avoid basking in the Glory of their Genius. I have things to fix, after all.
I've finally figured out the catch to marriage. I knew there had to be one. It's just too good to be true, right? So we're thick in the middle of a Division race, Cubs or Astros: Who will take home the Central title? Obviously my own loyalties lay with my home team Astros, but I'm a bit partial to the Cubbies as well. Kevin is a true blue Cubs fan; it runs deep in his blood, so much so that he even smells like Wrigley Field! Ah the sweet stench of drunken frat boys. Take it all in folks, breathe that good stuff in nice and deep! Sorry, just joking around. Anyhow, the point I'm trying to make is this: I want to see my husband happy. Cubs winning the Division equals his happiness. Cubs winning the Division equals my hometown boys lose a shot at an incredible opportunity to put themselves in the books. There's the fucking rub. Man, marriage is tough.
In the latest issue of SI, comes another entertaining article by Steve Rushin. He is, by far, one of my favorite sports writers and one of the few talents on SI's current staff. I highly recommend his book, "Road Swing" if you're a sports fan planning a cross country tour. It's a bit outdated, as it was written in '98, but still amusing and slightly odd. His article this week was more fluff than anything, but brought a pretty cool anagram website to my attention. Naturally, his article was packed with famous athletic names, institutions, etc. 'Sports Illustrated': Lurid, Topless Tarts, 'L.A. Clippers': I Spell Crap, 'New York Mets': My Town Reeks were among a few. He went on to say anagrams are truth serum. Can you really argue with his point after reading the above examples?
The title of this entry is one of the many 'Princess Fix IT' creates...what's yours?
Please don't fuck around with the security permissions on your system drive. It really doesn't help your productivity to have your account as the only listing with permissions. As a matter of fact, it prevents the OS from performing some very crucial tasks. If your paranoid attempts are not dealt with properly, this behavior will ultimately lead to a definite computing disaster. Do you really think these remedial measures will prevent someone from accessing your hard drive?
Thank you.
Princess Fix IT
P.S. What is that very odd smell coming from your office?
(I wish I lived in this world)
With the recent surge of "How do I get a red cape," and "What's up with the red cape," questions I have been receiving, I thought I would revisit an old entry to clarify the ways of the Friendly Programmer man.
You know who you are...The Friendly Programmer. I tell you my remotely funny user stories, you teach me a little something technical, perhaps the occasional lunch and then you bring forth The Challenge. The fucking Challenge. For those of you who have not had one of these experiences with me, it usually goes something like this:
The Friendly Programmer: "Ya know Princess, I know the XML file that contains the software audit information for my machine. I can totally hack into it and do blah blah blah..."
Translation that occurs in my head: "Ya know Princess, blah diddy blah blah blah diggity, I don't realize you're running two different kinds of software audit programs and one of them I have no clue how to hack into or even how you do it. I am Captain Super Smart Programmer Boy, so do you know where I can get a nifty red cape?"
And then...
The Friendly Programmer: "Ya know Princess, this managed anti virus rollout is really unnecessary on a Programmer's machine. It really fucks with my build time. Why can't we be exempt from this? I can totally hack into it and do blah blah blah..."
Translation that occurs in my head: "Ya know Princess, blah diddy blah blah blah diggity, it's those Artist types that bring viruses into the network. Sure the last few virus outbreaks have come from Programmers, but that's just a fluke. Our build times take an excruciating amount of time anyway because some of our fellow Programmers can't code worth a shit. I am Captain Super Smart Programmer Boy, so do you know where I can get a nifty red cape?"
And...
The Friendly Programmer: "Ya know Princess, Policies A, B and C don't make any sense. It's wasting my time and yours. I am Captain Super Smart Programmer Boy, so do you know where I can get a nifty red cape?"
Translation that occurs in my head: "Ya know Princess, Policies A, B and C don't make any sense. It's wasting my time and yours. I wonder what he'd look like in a nifty red cape?"
Well, if you haven't figured out by now, Kevin and I are locked in what I term an "Inner Division Marriage". He's a Cubs fan and I'm an Astros fan. With the NL Central Division race heating up each day, things are getting tense in the hallways at home. From the various "Welcome to second place," comments to the highly intellectual online debates. I no longer feel sorry for Cub fans, as things are getting way too tight for that kind of sympathy. Kevin continues to curse the Astros with each win they pull off and I dread to say that I foresee one of us being very unhappy come the end of September (don't tell anyone, but I hope its Kevin! Shhhhhh...).
Last Friday's work day was more stressful and longer than necessary. Unfortunately, we were hit with a nasty virus that brought down our network and required most of our resources, several extra hours and the patience of our users.
In our environment, we attempt to control the anti-virus applications through a parent server. In theory, this is a perfect setup. We can make absolutely sure all PCs are protected by not allowing the user to remove or alter the app and we can also control virus scans and rollout current definitions. It appears that there are a few holes in this particular policy. I won't go into the details, but those holes have been efficiently filled by touching every single PC within our three buildings. Red cape wearing programmers aside, I think we made great progress in preventing future breakouts. Unfortunately, it has been tough to get the backing of PD (Product Development) in keeping foreign machines off the network. To allow a user to come into work, plug his unprotected and quite possibly infected laptop into the network is unacceptable. The last three and quite possibly four attacks have been from these laptop losers and they were programmers to boot. Now I've added my fair share of laptops onto the network, but all have either been Apple computers or fresh machines straight from the manufacturer with anti-virus clients. What's so hard about asking? Sure we will apply the latest OS patches and make sure your defs are up to date, but really is five or ten minutes too much to ask to protect ourselves and their work? I think not. Within that 24 hour shift, I had a few proud moments. As I stumbled across vince around 1 or 2 in the morning, he sat down on the desk, looked me in the eye and said, "OK...Now I do see why virus protection is necessary." Bless your heart. He is one of the few I thought would never succumb to the realization that virus protection is a necessary evil. Maybe others will follow?
I was also proud of most of our users in being patient, but looking at how much my Inbox has filled up over my vacation, it seems that patience has worn thin. It appears we are back to normal. Pesky users and their needs.
Aw yeah...Wisconsin, not just the land of Packer fans and cheese.
Kevin and I have arrived back home after a very relaxing and much needed vacation. After Friday's 24 hour shift and a couple hours of hardcore sleep, we took off on a 5 hour road trip. Wow, Wisconsin is really beautiful country. Miles of farmland stretching out to the horizon, it's quite breathtaking. We saw an amazing sunset full of red, purple, orange and blue. It had to be one of the best sunsets I've ever seen. It rivaled The Grand Canyon, San Francisco and even the second floor of my parents? house when my father would take me up to that westward window and we would watch the sun fall away.
We, naturally, stopped off in Kenosha, WI at the Brat Stop, had a little lunch and took in the bike sights. This past weekend was the 100 year Harley Davidson celebration in Milwaukee. The highways were packed with thousands of bikers and their prized possessions. With the recent revival of custom bikes, I have to say I wasn't as impressed as I thought I would be with what was laid before us, but that's OK. To me it was never the bikes themselves, but to see all of them out on the road, barreling down the highways, completely free. That's an incredible sight to see.
Although it was extremely relaxing, we accomplished a lot. Catching a flick at the drive-in, playing miniature golf, hanging out on the beach, eating gourmet food, hiking through a corn maze, swimming, and even a trip to The Farm to feed the animals. Fun and relaxation, that's exactly what I needed.