A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My goodness!" the trooper exclaimed "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops
up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was...."
"Uh, ma'am," the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
Two tourists were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?"
The girl leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrrrr, gerrrrrrr, Kiiiiing."
There was a blonde driving out in the country in her car and as she looked out the side window she saw another blonde sitting in a rowboat in the middle of wheat field and rowing away. She stopped the car and stood by the side of the road watching the other blonde rowing away. When her curiousity got the best of her, she yelled out, "What are you doing?"
The blonde in the rowboat yelled back, "They told me there was a sea of wheat out here and I'm trying to get across it."
The blonde on the road yelled back at her, "'Sea of wheat' is just an _expression, you idiot! Its blondes like you that give us blondes a bad name. How can you be so dumb?"
At that, the blonde in the rowboat gave her the finger.
"O-o-o-o-oh!" yelled the blonde on the road, "If I could swim I'd come out there and kick your ass!"
There was a song in a movie some years ago that went:
I'm a B-L-O Oh, I don't know, I'm a blonde.
If, by any chance, you know where I can find the complete lyrics or the name of the movie, I'd appreciate it.
Comments
Whoo!
Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off
Posted by: McGroarty | August 9, 2004 9:39 PM
What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
Spot.
Posted by: Al | August 10, 2004 12:56 PM
i know this isn't a joke, but it kinda is...
are you blonde all the way down?
ewww. someone had to say it.
Posted by: jojo | August 10, 2004 3:05 PM
Jojo, comments should be stated in the form of a joke!
Q: What do you get when you stand four blondes on their heads?
A: Three brunettes
Posted by: McGroarty | August 11, 2004 1:42 PM
Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her nametag) ?
A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?"
Posted by: Quincey | August 11, 2004 5:22 PM
Q: What does a Blonde say after sex?
A: Do you guys really all play for the Astros?
Posted by: Graham | August 11, 2004 10:22 PM
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My goodness!" the trooper exclaimed "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops
up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was...."
"Uh, ma'am," the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
Posted by: Joe | August 12, 2004 5:52 PM
Two tourists were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?"
The girl leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrrrr, gerrrrrrr, Kiiiiing."
Posted by: yellowroe | August 19, 2004 11:00 AM
There was a blonde driving out in the country in her car and as she looked out the side window she saw another blonde sitting in a rowboat in the middle of wheat field and rowing away. She stopped the car and stood by the side of the road watching the other blonde rowing away. When her curiousity got the best of her, she yelled out, "What are you doing?"
The blonde in the rowboat yelled back, "They told me there was a sea of wheat out here and I'm trying to get across it."
The blonde on the road yelled back at her, "'Sea of wheat' is just an _expression, you idiot! Its blondes like you that give us blondes a bad name. How can you be so dumb?"
At that, the blonde in the rowboat gave her the finger.
"O-o-o-o-oh!" yelled the blonde on the road, "If I could swim I'd come out there and kick your ass!"
There was a song in a movie some years ago that went:
I'm a B-L-O Oh, I don't know, I'm a blonde.
If, by any chance, you know where I can find the complete lyrics or the name of the movie, I'd appreciate it.
Best Wishes
Dave McCourt
Posted by: Dave McCourt | December 23, 2004 6:19 PM
The movie was "Earth Girls Are Easy" and here are the lyrics...
http://www.evilnet.net/~jhfong/amv/blonde/blonde_lyrics.html
Enjoy! :)
Posted by: Princess | December 23, 2004 6:44 PM